Hey again,
I just wanted to come back and touch on something I talked about in my last post... positive self talk.
I think it's incredibly important to pay attention to what you say to yourself inside your head. You know those people who stand in front of the mirror and talk about how "beautiful" or "wonderful" they are? They definitely have it right. My problem, though, is I couldn't do that, at least not at first. Because, honestly, that was weird for me. Unfortunately, I had to work on the self speak first because I had a hard time using a mirror, let alone using one to say something positive to myself. "How crazy?" I thought.
It's not crazy, though! But I definitely understand the discomfort that comes from looking at ones self in the mirror and offering a compliment when you're beginning the journey into self love and self acceptance. It's tough. It's vulnerable. When I was getting to know myself again, it was real... like I was giving a bad friend a second chance. In all honesty, that's what I was to myself, a bad friend. No one deserved a second chance with me more than I did.
I had this pretty wild breakthrough one day. Over the past year and a half, I had been compiling songs that were specifically for my drive home from therapy on the app Spotify. This app has a nice, little feature that will enhance your playlist with songs similar to those within. The song 'Healing is Not My Purpose' by Toni Jones happened to be one of those enhanced songs. I can't help but hear the lyrics in most songs, and I felt deeply touched by these. I had never heard a song like this before. I realized these were 'mantra' songs and Toni Jones and many other artists were making them.
This was how I ended up beginning to train my brain to speak kinder. I searched for hours, listening to song after song and I made a mantra playlist that I started listening to every day. I worked really hard to make this a habit, not knowing if something would truly come of it. I had no idea how helpful this was going to be. It was life altering, to be honest. The words coming from this playlist started to become the words I was repeating in my head. Getting a song lyric that is all about loving yourself stuck in your mind is absolute magick. It's pure science, even. The conversation in my mind began to change, which helped change how I see myself.
So, what I'm trying to say here is if you are feeling lost on this journey. Or like you can't really show up for yourself right now... try mantra music. Search it on YouTube, Spotify and add one song that speaks to you to your life. Listen to it every day, specifically in the morning. Let it become habit (be patient with this process) and eventually you will see a difference in how you see yourself and maybe even your life.
Start with Toni Jones if you don't know where to look.
Lots of love to you always,
Lovely